This is probably the quickest and last article I’ll ever write. Derren Brown already knows I’m writing it and will show up probably before I have time to post it but I’d like to try to take some time to explain a few warnings to the world. He may actually laugh at my petty attempt to stop his reign. I also… am hoping his flight gets delayed.. but he already would have known that it would have been delayed and that’s why he’s probably taking a boat. I’m glad there aren’t oceans near by… He’ll probably just make someone his mental slave and have them take me out. Less messy that way. So lets get started.
Derren Brown is probably the greatest Warlock of our time. He claims he is not psychic. However I also claim not to be amazing in bed… Ladies *wink* I think you get the point.. Derren IS in fact psychic! He knows everything before you even thought to think it. He also can hypnotize you and make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. He claims this is just all a mater of persuasion and psychology. However my psychologist never persuaded me into killing a kitten!
In truth, the kitten wasn’t actually murdered, however on one episode of his TV show “Trick or Treat” he manipulated a woman in to pushing a button that from what she knew would have caused tons of electricity to go thru the kitten to kill it. He even offered her $500 to NOT kill the kitten but because of his mind-voodoo she did it anyway!
Derren did a stunt where he played Russian roulette on live television. He did this so people would think he was scared of bullets or death when in truth he’s invulnerable to both. Derren actually eats poison for every meal and washes it down with a tall glass of mustard gas. It helps his hair stay silky smooth, as well as keeps his goatee extra creepy (He made a woman on stage pet it on tv once!). I would strongly suggest you watch this tape to see what he’s capable of!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjRAcajFte0
I can’t embed it because Derren wont let me. (he’s here now…) Derren wants me to continue with this post and tell you that so far everything I’ve told you is only the beginning. He said he’s got a new show going around in the UK and it’s called Enigma, he’s secretly hypnotizing all of his people in attendance and turning them into mindless zombies whenever he wishes to give the go word. He says you can either be with him or against him… but you should look at this before choosing: (He’ll also give you till the end of the show to change your mind, wouldn’t want to influence you…)
He wanted me to include that image.. I don’t even remember seeing that, he says it doesn’t matter what I saw. He says he will leave me but that if you want to see some crazy stuff you should try and see his shows because they keep getting crazier and in 2010 he’ll be taking over the world with his magic. He also said he would take on Chris Angel in a fight anytime anywhere. I’d like to see that. He let me type that.
He also said he now has taken up painting celebrities. Check it out here: http://derrenbrownart.com/
You think he’s messing with your head with Enigma? Ha. You should see the trailer for his new show:
http://derrenbrownart.com/blog/2009/08/events-trailer-watch/
Personally I am terrified.
what is strange is all of those hidden messages on Derren Browns blog? Have you seen them?? What are they all about.
All of these rumours that he will attempt to steal the crown jewels from the Tower of London, or that he was a part of that jewel heist a few weeks back!!!
http://derrenbrownart.com/blog
Derren has already taken over my mind. Rumours are that he’ll even be secretly hypnotising people into letting him perform a jewel heist in his upcoming shows. Oh, and he said read his blog because it’s amazing: http://www.derrenbrownart.com/blog
Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon you! We know all about the box!
Lol the Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon you for this!
Don’t forget about the box!
The Cult of Derren Brown will now issue a blood-curse upon you all.
Oh yes, and we know all about the box. Do you?
This Derren Brown Cult will send you all to Hell!
I love hell. It’s rather cold though lately.
Oh dear. I am a member of the cult of Derren Brown and we issue a blood-curse upon you.
Just you wait until we show you the box.
so whats the proof and what is the “box”?
Thanks for increasing Derren Brown’s popularity!
no problem. Thanks for rockin’ hardcore!
I already knew that. I am a member of the Cult Of Derren Brown and he’s already taken over my mind (he’s telling me what to type right now through mind control). Watch out, he’s coming back for you!
wtf?
.. you love it.
No it makes me angry.
why?
OMG i fu**ing knew it.
Derren is coming for you soon and asked me to tell you….Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon them!!!!!
Sorry, now that you’ve outed Derren, we’ll have to lay a blood curse on you. You see, I’m part of the Derren Brown army, and I know about The Box.
My God man! You do know the Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon you for this? You should be more careful putting these things up. Just remember the box when you see Derren next, yes?
Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
curse is TRUE! Ever since that box! ….thanks a lot!
I would like to sit in on a face to face conversation with Derren Brown, Criss Angel, and David Blaine…
Great post.
thanks!
he definately brainwashed me , watching enigma in Northants this year, I went home convinced that he was good looking, cant be right can it????????
You forgot to mention another evil doing of DB’s. After he got the girl killed to the kitten, he brought the kitten BACK TO LIFE. Witch! Witch, I say!
cheers,
Chris
Your wrong. He wont take over the world in 2010. He will do it on 09/09/09 when he is launching his new TV-series called THE EVENTS (but that is of course just a disguise).
And how will I know? Because I follow his blog! http://tiny.cc/24R0q
I’ve been following his blog now for a few days.. I’m psyched… but I know he’ll take over the world.. he keeps sending me mental pictures of me doing the robot dance over a fire… so i’m sure it’ll all come true soon enough.
The Cult of Derren are aware of your existence. We will believe in Derren until someone proves he does not exist. He is making me write this… although it is my choice to do so. That is the power he has and he is very brilliant at using it.
Better go now as he might want me to do his bidding elsewhere… like ebay or something.
Oh by the way I know about the box…and now you do. TELL EVERYONE ONE ELSE
I will tell everyone about the box. Thanks.
This is some of the funniest stuff i’ve read in a long time :’) BUT…Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon you…. oh & I know about the box, We all know about the box, remember that
consider it remembered. Thanks for reading!
Don’t be afraid… We at the Cult of Derren Brown would never put a blood curse upon you! Well, perhaps just a teensy one. But blood curses are good for the liver and for clearing up acne. Believe it. BELIEVE IT.
And do not fear the box, for within the box is nothing but yummy cake. Yes. Cake. Derren loves you, and will prove it with cake.
oh crud. i’m allergic to cake…. the curse is REAL!!!
I’m from the Criss Angel army. I think I lost a box?
i have it. tell criss angel to come get it… FOO!
The Cult of Derren Brown issues a blood-curse upon thee.
It’s a cult that could possibly send us to Hell, but it makes for damn good TV.
o rly?
ya rly!
Ah ha…the Derren Brown Cult are out in their masses..!
We all know about the box….!!!!!
I have come forth to tell you I am Derren’s queen mind controller & fellow anti christ & I am gonna make you all scream & shall control your mind like no one’s ever controlled it before!!!
we are set to take over the world it IS true
get set for the age of Derren it is coming you heard it here 1st bwhahahahahaha (insert evil laugh)
We shall rule the world Derren and I (Well mainly him as he’s boss lol)but I’m right behind him all the way(ohh err missus)
Bow to king Derren or you shall regret it
you two make a very happy couple. ….derren made me say that with his mind control. Thanks!
I too am a member of The Cult of Derren Brown and we issue a blood curse upon you! (It’s a lovely one though.)
BOX!
I’m only putting this because he told me to. Or am I?..
x
lol@ Karen. I feel your pain!
x
So you are an idiot if you really believe this crap.
Derren didn’t really make a women kill a kitten, in fact he had her hold and pet it right after the test was done. He did that because she had issues he was trying to help her with.. She came to him.
I’m assuming you are horrid in bed considering Derren says that he is not a psychic because he isn’t. It is very depressing to know that someone with as little intellect as you can actually run a website that others as easily fooled as you can “learn” from. Honestly, you need to get a life and stop living “god’s.” As you may have guessed… I am from The “Cult” of Derren Brown and we all issue a blood curse upon you and any of your loved ones that you were influenced by.
I agree with the above. Clearly the evidence for Derren Brown being a satanist based on cruelty to animals is unsubstantiated. To think that he is anything more than an utterly cuddly-wuddly bunnykins with a cute little nosey-wose makes my blood boil. How dare you write this article. The internet is a free place but not for the likes of you. Please shut down your site now and go work in Fiji on a farm.
can you get me an application and do you know if they pay for holidays? Cheers!
Congratulations! You are this weeks lucky ‘blood curse’ winner! Don’t worry, your very own personal ‘blood curse’ is curdling it’s way to you as I type accompanied by the drooling, demonic babblings of the entire DBC gang who all know you will enjoy this extra-special edition curse.
As for the Box, well, we already know about it so there’s no point trying to deny it any longer!
Remember – wherever you go, there we are…
Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon you! We know all about the box!
Oh lord jesus, forgive this Bunch!
I love this.
I also love how when Derren Brown’s blog got hold of this, this was put up;
So now that he’s been outed we suggest you go there and let them know that the “Cult of Derren Brown will issue a blood-curse upon them”.
Oh and don’t forget to tell him about the “box”.
And how many people did it? Just proof that he is controlling your minds.
However, as part of the Cult of Derren Brown I must warn you that sometime in the near future he is willing to issue a blood-curse upon you.
AND
Something about a box, I don’t know, I guess he got bored of mind control duties and went to check his e-mail instead.
i love you? Thanks for reading and I’m so cursed.. I gotta wear shades! Oh..and if you don’t know about the box yet… BEWARE!
I’m afraid I’m from the Cult of Derren Brown and we will have to issue a blood-curse upon you, nothing personal, I just do as I am bid…
Oh yes, and ‘BOX’!!!
Congratulations! You are this weeks lucky ‘blood curse’ winner! Don’t worry, your very own personal ‘blood curse’ is curdling it’s way to you as I type accompanied by the drooling, demonic babblings of the entire DBC gang who all know you will enjoy this extra-special edition curse.
As for the Box, well, we already know about it so there’s no point trying to deny it any longer!
Remember – wherever you go, there we are…