I’m sure you’ve heard of the tooth fairy by now if you’ve ended up on this website she’s probably visited you at least several hundred times. I doubt however, that you’ve ever heard of the party fairy. Scientists have learned that the party fairy lives at the bottom of every Jagermeister bottle. Just because you don’t or haven’t consumed Jagermeister, you’re still not safe. The only way to keep the Party Fairy at bay is to constantly play the song as loudly as possible and as early in the morning as you can:

(note this double cool because it has scenes from the movie “The Warriors”)

Now that you know about the party fairy you MUST set your alarm clock to wake you up with this song. If you fail to do this from now on the party fairy will come to your house and follow you around head banging and flailing his hair.  Scientists have asked radio stations to play the song more loud than they would normally play music at the hours of 6am, 6:15am, 6:30am, 6:45am, 7am, 7:15am, 7:17am, and 7:30am.   Scientists feel strongly that this should eliminate the majority of the attacks.  For those of you who are without radios or access to an alarm clock with an FM reciever I strongly suggest buying a copy of Andrew WK’s album “I Get Wet”  You can pick it up here:  Album

PICTURE. THIS. GOING DOWN IN YOUR SHOWER:

If you can’t picture it… try NOT waking up to Party Hard and see it happen in real life! This is a warning! The party fairy will stop at nothing to make sure you are partying.   SAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE AND WAKE UP EVERY MORNING TO PARTY HARD BY ANDREW WK!  ITS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE ATTACKS!  Warning side effects of waking up to this song may cause an increase in bad ass levels and increase hair growth on your face.  (Lady’s beware!)