Have you ever heard a Tomato scream for help as it’s ripped from the ground? Have you ever started to cry as someone slowly chomped a baby carrot into tiny chunks?! I have. I’m here to state that I’m tired of being silent! I’m sick of just quietly eating my cheeseburger while you vile vegetarian torture defenseless vegetables that don’t have the ability of making an audible cry for help! IT STOPS NOW!
Animals and Vegetables
The main difference here is that animals can show emotions and make sounds as needed. If an animal is hungry it begs or mauls a child. If a vegetable is hungry it goes unnoticed until it’s dead or very close to. ”Oh Mr broccoli My bad… I’m sorry I didn’t give you water for a week. I’ll just plant some more of your cousins while you rot…..literally.” If you boil a puppy it will jump out of the water. If you boil coliflower it’s heart will break as it slowly is cooked before your eyes.
Teaching Murder to Kids
Every parent who tells their children to eat their vegetables is pushing these sins further and further. Today its some peas! Tomorrow it’s corn! Next week, your child is beating up his friends and burning churches. Are you really going to be that kind of parent?! Are you really going to raise ‘that kid’? Why not name him Adolf? Hmm?
Health Risks
I’m telling you now that Mad Cow is just left wing propaganda. A quick wikipedia search can tell you that no human being was ever really infected with Mad Cow. Plus! Who wants a cow that’s overly happy all the time? Don’t you hate those annoying people who are always smiling?! I know I do.. and I don’t want my Cow products to be overly happy, I might ingest some of that happy and become one of those annoying people.. Good-lordy! So no real diseases from meat! What about that E-coli scare in them tomatoes?! What about that Hep-B in… those tomatoes?! What about them AIDS in them Radishes?! Yeah…Healthy my ass. It’s just mother nature’s way of getting back at us for all the pain and suffering we put into our food. We like it. We love it! We even added it to our Extra Value menus everywhere! Now you can get Torture on the Go! Don’t forget to up size it so we can take out a whole head of lettuce on your lunch break! SICKOS!
Porn.
Ok So I know this probably got you sick sick vegetarian’s attention! You have no problem stuffing your face with the fears and strife of cute cudily onions but it wasn’t enough! You had to stuff them elsewhere! I had the hard job of trying to find porn involving raw meat…after hours of looking around the web I finally found one cheapy photoshoped image of a female with a steak. However it took seconds to find millions of photos of people naked with vegetables. Clearly if Christians feel porn is wrong, they must band together and stop vegetable savages as well!